Jamie's Confession
by KBHP
Summary: It is time for Jamie to tell Landon a secret she has been holding in since the first day she looked into his beautiful eyes.


_Hello. I thought about how Landon's thoughts and feelings were the focus for the most part so I wrote this out. Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks._

_~Kay_

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Jamie's Confession

Walking down the strip of their small town, Jamie Sullivan feels safe. The cool air brushes her cheeks as her and Landon Carter slowly head down the main road. Casually glancing in the coffee shops, boutiques, and teen hang out spots. Jamie looks down at their intertwined fingers and can't help but notice the difference in them; his strong and warm while hers are thin and adorned with brown spots. The clamminess she was feeling all day was, at that moment, a result of what she is going to tell him soon.

Every time he looks in her green eyes she can feel how much he loves her and every time she looks into his chestnut browns she knows that she can't ever love anyone like she loves him. So she has to tell him. Tell him today. Tell him now. It isn't fair to string him along. It may be too late but at least he will know. They walk slowly past the pool hall and Landon smirks slightly at it. He doesn't care about any of them anymore. He only cares about his future. He only cares about her.

"You okay, Jamie?" Landon asks his forehead creasing in soft concern.

"Yes," She says nodding instantly. It has become second nature to answer that way; second nature to lie. She is a liar. He still stares at her not completely convinced. She smiles warmly at him to bring ease and turns away from him a second later her head pounding gently catching the rhythm of their footsteps.

"Why don't we take a breather right here, we've been walking all day." Landon proposes as they turn the corner into a back alley. Jamie nods, her lips tightly pressed together. It is time.

"Are you sure you are okay, Baby?" Jamie shutters at his words. She looks at him her doe eyes completely enveloped in wetness. How could she have found him? How could she be so lucky to have a guy like him? How can he love her so much? How cruel was she to be in his life?

"Are you worried about your college applications?" Jamie shakes her head.

"No. I didn't apply. I'm not going to college."

"Oh…Okay…well, are you going to take a year off and join the Peace Corps?" Once again Jamie shakes her head. She closes her eyes trying to keep her breathing as even as possible.

"Landon, I have to tell you something. Something bad," His body stiffens immediately and his eyes focus in on her like they've never before. She stares at him for a few moments not to keep him in suspense or because she was petrified but because she wants to photograph the memory of him in her head.

"What is it?"

"I'm-I'm sick, Landon." Landon's body relaxes a little bit.

"Oh. Okay. It's all right. I can take you home if you'd like and you can get some rest and get better." He says nodding unconcerned with her words.

"No, Landon. I'm sick; the kind of sick that you can't rest and then get better from."

"What do you mean? I don't—"

"I have leukemia."

"What?"

"I have leukemia. It's a form of—"

"Cancer I know. I know it's a form of Cancer. No. You don't. You can't. You're 18 years old. You're perfect."

"I'm not perfect, Landon. I'm dying. I stopped responding to treatments. I'm dying, Landon." The wind seems to ring in her ears as they stand face to face in the back street. Her arms are tightly laying by her side while his fists are clinched in emotion. She walks to close the space but he puts his hand up. His beautiful face is contorted. His forehead completely separated by lines, his nostrils flared, his ears flaming red, and his mouth in a distinct line. How could she do this to him?

"You're dying, Jamie?" He asks incredulously. She nods now fearful of how her words will affect him. "You've been sick all this time and you didn't tell me?" She doesn't move at all this time.

"Yes,"

"Why would you—? Why would you do that, Jamie? Why would you let me—? How could you let me?" It is then that the tears she dreaded start to fall from his eyes. The sadness seems to seep from his insides out and she cannot help but let her own tears spill from her ducks like a waterfall.

"I didn't know what to do, Landon. I did not expect this. I was going along with my life as normally as possible and then you showed up at my doorstep. Don't do this to me. Don't make me feel any guiltier. It isn't fair." Jamie turns her back on him knowing that his stubbornness will keep him standing in the same spot as she jogs away. She cannot deal with this. Landon Carter was not apart of the plan. Tears blur her vision as she takes off into a sprint toward her home. Love was not apart of the plan. Being angry with God was not apart of the plan.


End file.
